Birds, Biddies & The Bygone Years

Birds, Biddies & The Bygone Years

I’m proud to tell people I work in the older adult industry. It’s fun to watch the reaction! Most people confuse this with working in the adult industry, which is entirely different! 

In truth, my job entails working with older adults moving into assisted living communities. The generational gap between us often presents itself. From my workspace, TikTok still describes the sound of a grandfather clock. While a tweet is what resonates from a bird’s beak instead of some nonsense on social media. 

Speaking of birds, they play a significant role in the aging process. We use phrases like “old crow” and “no spring chicken” to describe the people we will inevitably become. That is if we’re fortunate. After all, aging sure beats the alternative! My dad proudly announces this fact every year before blowing out his birthday candles. I suppose this means he’s a wise old owl. At least that’s a positive bird-to-elder epithet. I don’t know if owls gain intellect with age, but we seem to believe they’re super damn smart!

Then there’s the tough old bird. He’s the guy with the audacity to climb ladders despite being past a certain age. Some might say that’s acting like a loon. Who knew that species lead such wild lives? But when you’re old, people may say you’re as crazy as one! 

When you think about it, the early bird who gets the worm clearly explains why older gentlemen make great fishermen. After all, rising before dawn is the best time to dig for bait. Never mind that aging makes man’s circadian clock go out of whack. So, waking before sunrise isn’t about gathering invertebrates; it’s about having insomnia.  

Men aren’t the only ones to take a beating in the aging to aviary correlation. Consider the bird-to-beauty industry. Crow’s feet and turkey waddles don’t just show up one day. They take their damn time. So, when they appear to arrive like a flock of seagulls, we feel like a birdbrain for not noticing sooner. We can have plastic surgery, exercise more, and eat better diets. It seems we’ll do anything to keep our face from migrating south! 

It’s said that birds of a feather flock together. That’s evident in the land of assisted living, where society says we should house our elders. Then, we fill the sunset years with bingo and bird watching. Is there even a need to ask why the caged bird sings? This makes me depressed, so I’m going to read an issue of Audubon. I’ll admit, I’ve crossed over. It happens. Even the bland-colored birds in the backyard catch my eye now. 

The entire aging process is for the birds. I pray that when my time comes, I don’t go down as being labeled bat-shit crazy. On second thought, that sounds less depressing and might be a little fun! Besides, bats aren’t even birds; they’re mammals. You can chew on that piece of needless knowledge. A little bird told me it’s better than eating crow among some geriatric ganders before flying this proverbial coop.

Photo Credit: To the person with master-level Photoshop skills, I appreciate your talent enough to use your knitting bird photo as the visual for this blog post. I have no clue who you are, so the best way to give credit is to let folks know it’s from a website called Bouncy Mustard.

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